Parent, What Effect Are You Having?

I have spent a lot of time in prayer and reflection today. A childhood friend recently made contact with one of my kids and it has caused a great deal of sorrow in their life, and I must admit, in mine as well. You see, this childhood friend was raised "in the church" just like mine were, but Mom and Dad divorced during this child's High School years.

The kids met at an FC summer camp during Jr. High and kept in touch for a number of years but after graduation from High School they lost touch. Out of the clear blue the friend contacted my child by e-mail (you can find almost anyone through Google). So what's so sad about that? The friend's life has been one very sad mess after another, including homosexuality and total abandonment of the Church--and saddest of all is the total lack of contact with parents for a number of years. And this young person is only in their 20's. To add injury to insult, they now attend a denomination that condones and encourages "alternate" lifestyles--therefore no stigma attached to sin.

Supposedly the friend is "happier" than ever before and has "found themselves" and yet, through a follow-up letter you can feel the pain between the lines; the utter rejection and total disconnect from all that is precious to them. My heart aches for their loneliness.

I have thanked God a lot today for the relationship that I have with my adult children, for the relationship they all have with their God, but mostly for the relationship I have with my husband--we did not divorce during the most fragile years of our children's lives, destroying their stability and even their identity. I'm not boasting about how great "we" are, I'm stressing how parent's selfish behaviors can set their children up to utterly destroy themselves. Whenever a divorce comes about, it is the direct result of selfishness on the part of one or both involved and there is NEVER an excuse for this in a Christian home like this young person was raised in.

If you are a parent, think very seriously about what effect your actions are having and will have on your children; not only now, but in the future. The effects on this young person are still bearing their fruit. I understand that this young adult is now responsible for their own actions but their is plenty of blame to go around.

I would ask you to pray for this friend of my child. Pray that they will see their sin and error and that they will return to our Heavenly Father where there is real peace and may be able to renew the lost relationship with their parents and family. May God grant them time and mercy.

Dana Burk